Categories : Listening to Each Other

 

There are many schools of thought in motherhood, but at some point every mom feels she isn’t doing enough for her kids.  Sometimes you feel like who you are isn’t enough.  Lots of experts want to reassure you that you are enough.

I’m not one of them.

Before I explain why this is really good news for both you and your kids, let me explain how I know it’s true.

Why You’re not Enough
I’ve been a mom for 13 years.  During that time I’ve spent about 97% of my time with my children.  I nurse every baby until they’re over two.  I read to them for hours every day. I prepare each meal from scratch using organic whole foods.  But before you write me off as an annoying supermom, you need to know one more detail about my mothering:

It’s not enough.

If I read for three hours, my children were disappointed it wasn’t four.  If I put down the baby after holding her for five hours, she wanted to be held longer.  If I gave them two snacks every day, they wanted three.

Our kids were bottomless pits of demand.  They were never satisfied.  They needed an adult to say “enough” because it wasn’t in their vocabulary.

The Bible confirms this observation, and says it isn’t just me.   None of us was enough.

Why it’s Good News
Like I said earlier, the fact that you aren’t enough is good news for you and your kids. It provides you with daily opportunities to point them to the only One who is enough.  They’ll feel the need to call out to him, and he’ll answer.  Admitting you aren’t enough will remind you to call out to him, and he’ll answer you too.  I noticed a major shift in our home when I stopped pretending I was enough.  Admitting it didn’t just take the pressure off me, it took pressure off the whole family.hope of gloryWhat to Do about It
Shift your focus from satisfying everyone to listening to everyone.  When I try to protect my kids from disappointment, they’re often disappointed.  When I stop trying to fix it and truly listen, let them express their feelings, facilitate a biblical response, and point them to God, they experience more peace.  It’s no longer about my ego, it’s about each child developing a vibrant relationship with the only parent who is actually enough.

Now it’s time for action: If this post was helpful to you, please share it with another mom.And for bonus points, take a moment to affirm another woman as a mother. Point out a specific way she blesses her family (when you stop dwelling on your shortcomings and focus on affirming someone else, it builds you up too).



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